admin Pragya Chouhan
This is a story of a small-town girl, from a marginalised community, who had dreamt of wandering around the world, to be in top position in her professional life, to earn enough to let her family live a comfortable life. And like her Ambedkarite grandfather used to serve the community and he too aspires to make them confident enough to face the challenges in life. This is my story.
I have many things to share, but in this article, I want each individual to know however mediocre they think of themselves, they can reach high and fulfill their dreams, no matter what.
My earliest memories that are still intact in my subconscious were from the time I was in class 3rd. I was an average student and not that good in studies, I got back (compartment) in one of the subjects. My parents were unhappy, and they shifted me to a relative’s place in a different city for studies. Initially, it was difficult for me to manage it, as a young girl pulled out from my roots and comfort zone. I used to cry in silence, and sometimes, remain without eating anything. So they took me back home within two days. I decided that I won’t let it happen again and focused on my studies.
That was my first little step, slowly things started moving. In my teenage, my mind started getting distracted with things other than studies. When I was in the eighth standard, my father warned; “If you do not get good marks we will get you married. We have already seen a groom for you, or if you get the distinction we will buy a bicycle for you, the choice is yours!”
I was afraid that I will be again sent to a different place and I may have to leave my home and siblings if I don’t get good marks. I began to concentrate on my studies and secured 83% marks. I was happy to get my first Hero Hansa cycle. I realized that an average student with little determination can also become exceptional. Since then studies became my priority.
For the Master’s degree, I had written the state level entrance exam which is conducted through Vyapam for MCA (Master of Computer Application) and MBA (Master of Business Administration). I stood second for MBA entrance and 9th for MCA entrance exam. I opted to join MCA as I was more interested in computers. The first semester was tough as there was a silent prejudice working against for me being a reserved category student. I was determined to break it and dedicated myself to prove them wrong. From the second semester onwards, I picked up and completed my MCA degree as a 3rd topper. When people try to bring you down, let us bounce back till they themselves get frustrated and stop criticizing you.
In Jyotiba Phule’s words:
Lack of education leads to a lack of wisdom,
Which leads to a lack of morals,
Which leads to a lack of progress,
Which leads to a lack of money,
Which leads to the oppression of the lower classes,
See what state of the society one lack of education can cause!
But life may keep on throwing challenges at you. The road ahead will not always be smooth. But if you have big dreams and you are ambitious enough, to achieve them you will start clearing the path for yourself.
During my MCA, my father met with an accident it was a severe one and after that, he couldn’t walk. After a year or so with multiple operations, he could walk with the help of a walker. He couldn’t continue his job and needed to take voluntary retirement from service. We had to confront a financial crisis as the salary of my mother was sufficient only to pay house loan and serve the family of four children of which two were studying in other cities. Those were the worst days of my life. I had to survive on the bare minimum and realized the importance of money. I could not purchase books and had to depend on classmates and the library. I had to complete my MCA without a computer. I also started taking tuitions to meet my own expenses. Then I promised myself, I will earn enough, so much so that my family and I should not have to sacrifice our minimum needs and I also wanted to fulfill my parent’s desire which they sacrificed for our studies.
All my friends moved to metro cities in search of jobs, except me, because I couldn’t afford to live there. I was stuck in my hometown. I started teaching computer science in private computer colleges and Kendriya Vidyalaya in Balaghat, but I was not satisfied. My mind always used to remind me, that I am not made for this, my dreams are different. But since I was dealing with so many financial crises my first priority was to earn and then to pay back to society. For this, first I need to leave my place of birth, Balaghat, and shift to any metro city. I chose Hyderabad as it was close to my hometown and the cost of living was also less. I left Balaghat with the determination that until I get an offer letter from some company in my hand I won’t return back home.
The journey of hard work and continuous labor started. I used to sit and continuously practise the whole day till late nights eating only one meal a day. It was in the fourth month that I gave my first interview at Wipro and to my surprise, I was selected in the first interview itself. I got the offer letter. That is how I entered the corporate world. Currently, I am working in a European organization as a lead, ten people report me and this is my fourth job at a company. Though my cousins are IIT and IIM pass outs and working in top-notch organizations, I am nowhere near them, but I value my growth and they respect my struggle. I follow the words of Babasaheb “My final words of advice to you are, educate, agitate and organize; have faith in yourself.”
As always everything is not green. There were many ups and downs, emotional breakdown, professional politics was part of a journey; but again when you have a strong desire to accomplish your goals nothing breaks you down. If you are from a marginalised community, vulnerability is your second mother and every day you have to deal with it. I am an introvert and do not easily mingle with others. It takes time to know and understand people. I used to wonder why I can’t be like others, easy going, chit chatting, and mingle with everyone! I had so many questions about myself and others. In general, wanted to understand life and the world in depth. I developed an interest in psychology from my adolescent days and wanted to graduate in psychology. But it didn’t work out that time, then I got a chance in Hyderabad to fulfill my passion of studying psychology and NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming). It helped me overcome the challenges in life and to help those who are struggling in their own life. It was a life-changing experience. The idea was to support community people especially youngsters and to create mentally strong minds.
Babasaheb says about mental freedom:
“What is the proof to judge that the flame of mental freedom is not extinguished in the mind of a person? To whom can we say that his mind is free? I call him free who with his conscience awake realises his rights, responsibilities, and duties. He who is not a slave of circumstances and is always ready and striving to change them in his flavor, I call him free. One who is not a slave of usage, customs, of meaningless rituals and ceremonies, of superstitions and traditions; whose flame of reason has not been extinguished, I call him a free man. He who has not surrendered his free will and abdicated his intelligence and independent thinking, who does not blindly act on the teachings of others, who does not blindly accept anything without critically analyzing and examining its veracity and usefulness, who is always prepared to protect his rights, who is not afraid of ridicule and unjust public criticism, who has a sound conscience and self-respect so as not become a tool in the hands of others, I call him a free man. He who does not lead his life under the direction of others, who sets his own goal of life according to his own reasoning and decides for himself as to how and in what way life should be lead, is a free man. In short, who is a master of his own free will, him alone I call a free man.”
I am a self-made woman. Whatever I have done and what I am today is all because of my own decisions. My family especially mother is always supportive. Had it been some guide or career counselor I might have saved myself from wrong choices or wrong decisions and today I might have settled somewhere abroad.
Adding a story of my corporate world, egoistic men never accept that any woman is leading and in a commanding position and that is what happened with me too in the initial days. They started taking me for granted and were not including me in major decision making bodies. And some even began talking in disrespectful ways. I rebelled and had to show my worth. I had a heated discussion with my manager about how gender discrimination is going on and how disrespectful the environment was for women. There is hardly a 1:10 ratio of women: men.
After my intervention, the manager accepted the flaws and the same was communicated to the team. Now, in all the major decisions I am included, and my views are respected. Knowing my background in psychology, he also discusses how we can create growth and a healthy environment. We discuss if someone is having behavioural and attitudinal issues, what are the ways in which it can be overcome and how to manage people with a human touch. They requested me to conduct seminars on this topic. I was also awarded ‘SheRocks’ Award for Innovation.
If you are in a position to guide or counsel someone, please take it as a challenge and do it. It can be of value to the needy. And if you are in need of any counseling or guidance seek help. Please do not be quiet and suffer alone. I was also the same and that’s why suffered too.
I wanted to overcome my fear and speak confidently in front of a group of people. And I did it slowly with continuous practice and overcome the stage fear. It was with this self-developed confidence that made me speak at an international conference in Japan and Thailand. And the feedback I received was, “your talk was one of the best” these words boosted my confidence and made me happy.
In today’s ever-changing technological world if you are not upgrading yourself continuously you will be out of the market. If you are not putting continuous efforts your job is not secure. And there will be people to bring you down, especially if you are a woman. Apart from all this you have to fight, you have to bounce back after every failure, I am continuously doing that, setbacks and emotional breakdowns will be there in everyone’s life but nothing should stop you for long…that’s what I have learned and keep on moving…there are many more milestones to achieve yet…and I am on it…for me the sky is the limit…. I also want the same for all.
By talking about myself I want youngsters of my community, specifically women, to prioritize their life. Give more priority to books and studies more than any other things. They are the ones who will build your personality and future. During academic years you will get distracted by addiction, love affairs, moral harassment, etc., but yes you need to bypass all this by focusing more on completing your studies with good scores. That is what Babasaheb also did in a very unfavorable environment. He never compromised on his studies. He drafted India’s Constitution, but you have to write your life’s constitution by dedicating yourself to studies and career building. Believe in yourself, take on your challenges, and conquer your fears, never let anyone bring you down because you have got to keep going. That’s the way I motivate myself.
Wanted to add few lines of a Facebook friend “Mir Seeneen” which I liked very much :
People Will Doubt Your Abilities ;
Your Potential and Your Aptitude;
People Will Doubt Your Intentions;
Your Determination and Your Aspiration;
And Yeah! They Will Doubt your character,
Your Disposition and Even Your Personality;
Just Draw Least Attention Towards Anyone’s Complicity or Even Advocation…
Just Follow Your Own Aura ……
And You Will See the World Behind You……
Finally, I will add, there is this idiom “उगते सूरज को सब सलाम करते हैं….”, All people worship the rising sun
Be like a rising sun…everything is within us, we can do anything! Be your own hero.
